What You Might Have Been Doing as a Wife Is Totally Wrong

From now on, I will keep these things in mind.

Learning from You - Living a Lifetime with You

What My Husband Has Taught Me

The sweetest “I love you” is felt. It’s even sweeter than the ones being heard.

All things happen for a reason - even if you have no idea what that reason is at the time. Tests of faith are indeed blessings from Him.

You can be better or bitter. Get that positive outlook at all times.

Life is a choice - as is how you handle the pitfalls along its bumpy road.

Always be happy so you can have the guts to make other people happy. You have to decide or choose to be happy.

Sometimes genuine happiness is found at home.

Learn how to say no and never feel guilty.

Accept what you cannot change.

I’ve just realized that I have learned a lot from him. I just hope he also has learned a lot from me.

And I know there is a lot more to come.

(December 16) Getting married for five years and so much in love more than nine years, hubby and I do not live a perfect married life. We have our own ups and downs, petty quarrels, arguments, misunderstandings, pillow fights, and the like. Though these circumstances do not happen often, we always manage to settle things out or just have it passed by without even saying sorry or anything.

On the brighter side, we believe that after each usual “tampuhan” between a husband and a wife, we tend to be more in love with each other.

And yes, I would always love to wake up each morning with him and our kid/s at my side. Nothing beats the kind of happiness I feel every time I see my loved ones – families, relatives and friends around me.

I will forever look forward to a new morning with you, Dad. As we grow old together, I pray that we live longer, happier and healthier to face each morning – side by side, holding hands.

This is indeed a lifetime for you and me. We’ll grow old together because the best is yet to come.

♥♥♥ Mommy Mai Raine ♥♥♥

God Gave Me You... And Forever I'd be so Grateful to Him

It was on December 14, 2002 when we started our own love story, a romantic piece that should be treasured and cherished for a lifetime. We had our own ups and downs but we managed to keep a promise and stay together.

We've got the best love story to share ... a friendship turned into something special, a friendship bloomed into something sweeter, and a relationship that could spell out F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

True enough that there are no fairy tales but there can always be happy endings - because we tied a knot on December 16, 2006 (just right after our four-year engagement). It was a very wonderful experience, an awesome memento that I'd always look back.

Walking down the aisle, hearing you sing love songs intended for me, and seeing you standing there with our families, loved ones, relatives and friends, above all, so close to God, made me feel more tensed yet so overwhelmed and excited.

Then Eieo came in to make our love story better, happier and more exciting to share... such a blessing that we would forever be thankful for. Today I live a happy, simple life that I couldn't ask for more. I am fulfilled and blessed, enough to make me feel so inspired and overwhelmed.

Happy Anniversary, sweetie. Wishing us more years together as we keep our love burning. You are indeed a blessing.

I love you.

With all that, we will surely be each other's First and Last.

Cheers to a happier and a more blessed marriage.

♥♥♥ Mommy Mai ♥♥♥

God Gave Me You – Bryan White

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained

You know how I love to complain

For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame

I still cursed that rain

I didn’t have a prayer, didn’t have a clue

Then out of the blue

God gave me you to show me what’s real

There’s more to life than just how I feel

And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes

And all that I live for though I didn’t know why

Now I do, ’cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt

All wrapped up in that hurt

For every glass I saw, I saw half empty

Now it overflows like a river through my soul

From every doubt I had, I’m finally free

I truly believe

God gave me you to show me what’s real

There’s more to life than just how I feel

And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes

And all that I live for though I didn’t know why

Now I do, ’cause God gave me you

In your arms I’m someone new

With ever tender kiss from you

Oh must confess

I’ve been blessed

God gave me you to show me what’s real

There’s more to life than just how I feel

And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes

And all that I live for though I didn’t know why (didn’t know why)

Now I do (I finally do), ’cause God gave me you (God gave me You)

God gave me you

Signs of an Unhappy Marriage - Check Yours Now

Most love marriages start off with great feelings of happiness just like a fairy tale romance, but soon degenerate into something cold and boring, a kind of habit that both partners fall into and soon, the marriage starts showing those inevitable unhappy marriage signs that all married couples dread.

So, what are these signs and how can you notice them and stop them from repairing your marriage until it’s too late?

Unhappy marriage signs are sometimes easy to read, and sometimes, even though they are staring us in the face, we do not see them. Don't let this happen with you. Read on for some possible signs of an unhappy marriage.

Not all marriages are made in heaven. A marriage in order to be a happy one takes a considerable amount of work. There are many signs to an unhappy marriage. I am giving below some of those signs. If either or any of the partners is behaving in such a manner then the chances are that it is an unhappy or failing marriage.

An unhappy marriage is one of the most common marital problems that couples face today. An unhappy marriage leads to several other problems like depression and other psychological disorders. The high rates of divorce are testimony to the fact that the sanctity of marriage as an institution is being diminished day by day. Unhappy marriage signs may begin to manifest at any time. Early during the marriage or late, the important thing is that you realize these unhappy marriage signs and decide for yourself, what step you're going to take further.

Ana Mika shares some ways on how to know that your marriage is in trouble. She has a good post in her site and you may want to pay a visit on her page, too. :-) Happy Reading!

Check out this Article on 12 signs of a failing marriage by Anamika S. If either or any of the partners display these signs then the chances are that it is an unhappy or failing marriage.

Mommy Mai:

Unhappy marriage signs may or may not be the same for all couples. It is only you who can truly realize whether your marriage is happy or not. Don't make any rash decisions based on random relationship advice that you hear from time to time. Identify with it and make sure that you do what you think will make you happier. It is your life after all.

This post is for everyone; my ideas, thoughts and experiences that I do share on this blog aim to somehow lend a hand to make someone out there feel better and be able to reach out to those who are in dilemma or in confusion. If you need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to count me in. I may not help you exactly what you want to; but I can perfectly a good listener and stress reliever. I am just an e-mail away. =) See you!

♥♥♥ Myraine ♥♥♥

Common Marital Problems - Your Own Checklist

Do a Self-Check Today Before It's Too Late and Be Sorry.

You may seem unaware that you and your better half's marriage is somehow or maybe totally on the rocks. Whether you're so certain or not, you have to make efforts to save it and deal with it at the soonest time possible. Otherwise, it can lead into something that you both never expect or want to happen.

With that in mind, I researched on some issues or conflicts that may occur in marriages and may probably test the love, trust, respect and all between married couples. And I'd like to share them with you. Well, here's my checklist:

Save a Marriage Dot Com:

COMMUNICATION

The most commonly reported relationship problem by far is communication. This may be one of the broadest and most difficult terms to define with regard to relationships. It tends to have many different meanings to each of us. For the purposes of this explanation I define it as "Mis-Understanding".

Literally, this means not understanding the other person's point of view. This is often more a matter of refusing to allow the existence of the other's view as opposed to not understanding it! It is an unwillingness to take the time to genuinely listen and care to understand.

In many relationships the interest seems to lie primarily in getting one's own point of view heard and understood rather than having an interest in hearing and understanding the others’. There is an irony here worth looking at . . . If people cared to listen to the other person with as much interest as he or she wished the other would listen to them, both would end up receiving exactly what they are looking for!

To truly know another, we must be willing to see the world through their eyes, not simply our own. If we listened as well as we spoke, really connecting would take care of itself . . .

SEX AND INTIMACY

This topic is so huge and complex an area that I can only give the briefest of introductions in this format. Sex is one of the most common areas of conflict in many relationships, but make no mistake, it does not stand alone. Ruling out any physical or medical causes of difficulty, it is usually in some way a reflection of whatever state the relationship is in. For instance, if communications have become hostile and withholding (for punishment or defense purposes) that hostility manifests itself sexually as well. Often this is one of the natural outcomes of what I talked about in "Unfulfilled Expectations".

Chronic disappointment and dashed expectations can manifest in a serious loss of intimacy in a relationship. Not being able to identify what the expectations are, no less clear them up, makes matters even worse. If there is a lack of intimacy with regard to the basic friendship in the relationship, it is also expressed (or not!) in some manner in the bedroom.

To further complicate matters, as rule sexual interactions mean something different to men than they do to women. Women like to feel emotionally connected before they become physically connected. Men, on the other hand, often use sexual activity to get connected in the first place. (It's a cruel joke of the universe I think). Ever notice how much more he talks and listens after lovemaking? There's no coincidence there, ladies. And guys, ever notice how much more interested she is in sex after you've offered her some "real listening time" about something she really cares about? No coincidence there either.

The main issue here is that it is a mistake to hold your partner responsible for your needs. Rather, you would do better to look at how desirable you've made yourself to your partner with your own behavior and attitudes.

If your sex life is in need of a tune-up, chances are your relationship needs tuning first.

RESENTMENTS

Resentments are the number one killer of all relationships. They are a slow poison, undermining the love, trust and mutual respect you may have once had with each other. It is critical in the treatment of relationships to uncover these often unknown or unspoken resentments. Each person is then responsible for discovering the part they played in the creation of these resentments along with what they can do to improve themselves. The focus is not on how the other person needs to change, but rather on what you can do to change yourself to bring something better to the party. No blaming, just self-responsibility. It's always a dance of two, never just of one.

Resentments crop up quickly as communication dwindles, expectations are not met and old hurts (many of them from the early years) begin to get "triggered" by relationship issues in the present. This is an incredibly common, yet generally unknown source of pain in marriages. Triggers are current experiences that bear a resemblance to ways in which you've been hurt, abandoned or treated stemming from the past. They are often not consciously connected to what's happening in your present relationship, but when they are shown to you, they are clear to be seen.

An example would be when your partner takes a tone with you that is reminiscent of an important adult from your childhood, who was responsible for creating pain for you. Sometimes we have to think long and hard in order to make these connections. A red flag that this is what's occurring is that you are perceived to be overreacting to whatever is happening in the present . . . sound familiar?

Resentments often build as a direct result of a person's inability to communicate their needs and/or take responsibility for them in the first place. Resentments lead directly to loss of respect for the other person. Loss of respect leads to sexual problems, more bad feelings, blame and distancing. Isn't it fascinating how all these issues just blend together in one massive, connected swirl?

The truth is, we can never really respect ourselves unless we show the courage and the willingness to take full responsibility for what belongs to us, which the other person did not place there! Once the old hurts are neutralized (in addition to all the new ones we've tacked on over the years) and each person has shown the courage to own their part in the poisoned well, much healing is possible.

If you've ever been forgiven for your "falls from grace" in life, you know how powerful a healing experience it is. Much as resentments are poison to a relationship, ownership and mutual forgiveness are its salvation.

INFIDELITY

Talk about a killer of trust and commitment . . . here is the number one offender. My view on this deadly behavior is that this activity occurs as a result of the breakdown of the relationship, rather than being the cause of the breakdown. Do not mistake this as any kind of condoning of this behavior on my part. No way. I simply want to point out that people who are content and fulfilled within the marriage, virtually never look outside of it to fill themselves up. Affairs are often used as a way to lick one's wounds, to escape from the difficulties of the current relationship, to abandon the responsibility we have to work on the troubles in our relationships straight-up, rather than behind closed and secretive doors with someone else. Sorry folks, it doesn't work that way.

If your connection to your partner is missing big pieces, start by looking at what you are bringing to the party. If you're empty and unfulfilled in your relationship, perhaps it's because you are not offering all you could be to it! Looking for comfort elsewhere simply adds more pain and suffering to what was already present. If you are the one who strayed, you have the responsibility for failing to courageously face the part you played in the unsatisfying elements of your relationship. If your own relationship was where you put your energy (rather than with someone else) then your own relationship would have gotten the benefit of your growth, rather than the pain of your broken vows.

Relationships can heal from this most devastating of betrayals, but full responsibility, remorse and true commitment to self-development must be the foundation for the healing. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that's been lost. Nothing less will do. Many do not have the courage or character to take this on. If you do, you have the chance to create an even deeper, more meaningful relationship . . . "What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”.

UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS

One of the saddest set-ups in relationships is entering into them with all kinds of expectations and then over the years, feeling disappointed again and again that they have not been met. Part of this issue relates to the childhood baggage I mentioned before. We often have preconceived expectations of what marriage and relationships are supposed to be like.

This can be derived from many different sources, not the least of which is the marriage and relationship of our parents. That's the one we lived and breathed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That kind of exposure gets absorbed, some on a conscious level, some on an unconscious one.

The biggest problem with expectations in general is that we may know what our expectations are, but it unlikely that our partner does! Even more insidious and frustrating is when we have these expectations and even we can't name them, yet we expect our partner to fulfill them. There is one additional problem . . . contrary to popular opinion, it is not the other person's responsibility to fulfill you expectations. It is your job to learn to fill yourself up and then offer all you can to the relationship.

The majority of couples I've worked with have entered into their relationships with their focus on what the other person had to offer . . . not on what they were bringing to the party. Again, we are often quite unaware that this is our mindset.

We must be willing to look closely and honestly at ourselves to see if these are truths about us. Not everyone is willing to do this. To truly understand what you are seeing in another, you must first hold up a mirror and understand what you are seeing there.

Just a piece of advice:

As Socrates once said, 'by all means marry. If you get a good wife you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher'. A bad marriage is not what one expects while planning a wedding. But there are ways of dealing with marital problems like emotional and physical abuse, lack of sex and disloyalty. Deal with issues upfront, instead of burying them in deepest trenches of your heart.

This post is for everyone; my ideas, thoughts and experiences that I do share on this blog aim to somehow lend a hand to make someone out there feel better and be able to reach out to those who are in dilemma or in confusion. If you need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to count me in. I may not help you exactly what you want to; but I can perfectly a good listener and stress reliever. I am just an e-mail away. =) See you!

♥♥♥ Myraine ♥♥♥