Friday, May 18, 2018

Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs To Master To Make The Relationship Work

Old People Couple Together Connected Rock

No one said married life is going to be easy nor there are secret passages or shortcuts to make each journey totally easy and convenient. In my effort to grow more in love and still hold on to our vows (despite this and that), I've come across this beautiful blog post which I intend to share with you all. 

Thank God, am still holding on and praise Him everyday for always blessing me and my spouse the strength, love, and most of all, faith that we need to cherish our "I do's".

1. Respect your husband.

Notice how it doesn't say "Respect your husband if he has earned it." A man's greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife. The trap that we've all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone.

2. Guard your heart.

The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don't have the best of the best, but it's simply not true. Live the life you've been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough. There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you'll never be satisfied with more until you're fulfilled with what you have now.

3. God, husband, kids … in that order.

I know this isn't a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It's no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you're married to someone who is abusive (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my article can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That's not what this means.

4. Forgive.

Togetherness, Harmony, Love, Romance

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter) – you will keep resentment from growing.

5. Over-communicate.

I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard "You should know why I'm mad" game, and that's just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON'T always know that they've been insensitive. I'm still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I'm trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.

6. Schedule a regular date night.

This one isn't new, but it's very important. Never stop dating your spouse. Even if you can't afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don't talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.

7. Never say the "I'd quit, it's over!"

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If you're gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening separation or annulment is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I'm not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.

8. Learn his love language.

Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.

9. Never talk negatively about him.

I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you're going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn't subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you're close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective. News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!

10. Choose to love.

There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don't say "if you have bad times." They say "in good times AND in bad," implying that there WILL be bad times. It's inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He's worth it.

This article was originally published on Karen Lodato's blog, Eighth Rising. Cheers, Ms Karen!

Karen Lodato has experienced a second chance at 'happily ever after' after recovering from divorce. She writes about her faith, experiences in a new blended family, and navigating remarriage on her blog.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

People Management Tips You Should Try To Be An Awesome Leader

Skills, Can, Startup, Start Up

Being a good leader and an effective manager requires the right knowledge, skills, competence, and passion. 

After all, people management is an art and there are amazing ways to do it right. Here are some of them:

Accept that management is an inherently complex and difficult job - Don't fight it.  Don't waste time and valuable mental energy wishing it weren't so.  

Recognize that frustrations and difficult situations go with the territory of management.  That's why you're being compensated more than if you weren't in management.  Approach delicate employee "issues" positively, like an intriguing puzzle to solve.

Know the value of teamwork.
No battle has been won alone and no success achieved is a single man’s handiwork. At the end of the day even a man has to share the credit of his success with the woman who has been a driving force in his life. Thus team work is extremely important, for you cannot have individual aloof islands working to earn their livelihood.

You need to know your team as a whole as well as individuals. You need to be aware of each and everyone’s capabilities and talent in order to balance the productivity of your team. 

Putting the jigsaw puzzle right always looks pretty, so consider each member of your team as a part of the whole and that would lead to better output results and loyalty from your employees. People with complimentary set skills need to be teamed together to ensure faster output and coherence.

Try to see things through the eyes of others - Easier said than done, I know.  But there may be reasons why a certain person is hard to manage.  

If you can look at a problematic situation holistically and gain insights into why someone is acting the way he or she is, that can lead you to a constructive solution.

Get help when you need to - This is an easy step, but often neglected.   If you work in an organization of any size, help is everywhere.  Get perspective on a difficult employee from someone whose judgment you trust.   

This could be anyone: a Human Resources contact, a mentor, your own manager, a colleague.  During my years in management I went to all of these people at different times to seek opinions when employee issues arose.   It isn't a sign of weakness.  It's sensible judgment.  

Striving for greatness as a manager should top every manager's goal list. The difference that a great manager can make in the work lives of employees is inestimable. 

Helping employees feel rewarded, recognized, and thanked is also key to performing effectively as a manager. So yeah, bring it on and keep inspiring! You're doing a great job!

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

These Are the Things Wives Need To Know, Hear And Feel

Appreciation In Marriages

One of the greatest sources of discord in the early days of marriage is associated with lack of what the wife calls "appreciation" in the husband.

The average man is a busy person with his share of life's responsibilities and demands upon his time. If he has married the girl he loves and is not of the analytical and hypercritical type, he is generally perfectly satisfied with his life-partner. Perhaps he omits to tell her so at regular periodic intervals, as if he meant it, and it takes a very clever woman to be satisfied with quiet appreciation without demanding verbal expression of her husband's feelings.

Most wives, especially most young wives, delude themselves with the idea that it is the man who talks most about his affection who is the most desirable husband.

The Secret of Married Happiness

They want what they call "appreciation," and the man who gives this to his wife easily, gracefully, and in abundance is wise (and probably admired and dreamed of) in his generation. The converse is also true. It is the appreciative wife who keeps her husband's affection when her hair is turning gray and her figure has lost for all time its girlish outline. It is the wife who can judiciously convey the impression that she appreciates a husband's best qualities who brings out the best in a man.

In one sense, appreciation is the secret of married happiness, because behind this quality lies an immense amount of tact, understanding, and unselfishness. There is no doubt that human nature tends to depreciate what it has already gained, to get accustomed to the possession of what has at one time seemed ideal.

The greatest joy of the newly engaged girl lies in the fact that she is keenly, enthusiastically, and sensitively "appreciated." The man who is honestly in love discerns qualities in a girl which the rest of the World may not perceive, but which are there all the same.

The Divine Spark

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Deep down in every one of us there are possibilities, latent qualities for great deeds and high thoughts of which the world has no conception. Love sometimes brings them out, and the commonplace man displays unexpected capacity in consequence. In the same way, the woman who is capable of an absorbing and unselfish love has the best in her brought out at that time.

The divine spark that is in everyone burns brightly for the time being at least. She receives for the first time appreciation from the one person in the world who counts. This appreciation is like a stimulant, an incentive. Alas! so long as human nature is what it is, it does not endure, and if a woman's sense of humor and understanding fails at this juncture, disillusionment will probably result.

It is the wife who is exacting when the ardent lover emerges into the everyday man, who nags her husband into ill-humor. The woman who has a sense of perspective knows only too well that the first ecstasy and ardor of love inevitably settles down into everyday affection, comradeship, and domestic love.

By useless brooding and resentment over the inevitable, discord will arise, and the barque of matrimony will sail into troubled seas. Tact and unselfishness are the only qualities which will steer it safely beyond the rocks, and these include the quality of appreciation.

The Power of Appreciation

The wise wife cultivates the power of appreciating the good qualities her husband possesses and lets him realize that she does. It is the weak woman who nags a man when the first ecstasy of love begins to subside into quiet acceptance and renewed interest in work and everyday affairs.

At the same time, the Woman who has studied the art of appreciation can do almost anything she likes with her life-partner. If he is punctual, orderly, and reliable, she will cultivate the same qualities, and thus save the inevitable jars that the unpunctual woman prepares for herself when she is invariably five minutes too late. She will not ask the impossible from him, and will see that the busy man absorbed in working for her cannot be expected to remember to tell her that his affection is unchanged perhaps three times a day.

The man who is apparently not affectionate by nature may hide a capacity for strong love under his silence and undemonstrativeness.

There are men, and these are not invariably the best of their sex, who have the art of pleasing women in little things. Small courtesies, little kindnesses, and thoughtfulness may mean much to the woman who has no absorbing interest to take up her thoughts. She will forgive a great deal in the husband who remembers to inquire for her headache, who plans a treat for Saturday, and brings an occasional bunch of white roses home in the evening.

But there are many types of men, and the wife who has married the undemonstrative type is only making unhappiness in the home when she expects him to display the qualities which are not part of his nature. He may have far deeper and better traits. He may be more faithful, more trustworthy, although he is not naturally sympathetic in trifles and incapable of realizing a woman's point of view.

The great need of most women's lives is affection, and the husband who can give the wife the small tokens of affection, the signs of appreciation, makes life's journey smoother for himself in consequence.

Flattery is not Appreciation

Everybody loves appreciation. Those who realize this fact can get almost anything out of people that they wish. Appreciation is not flattery, which is a less powerful weapon because it is insincere and false in so many instances. Appreciation simply means the power of realizing the good, the kindness, the ability, and capacity in others.

We all know that we work far more for those who appreciate what we do for them. Appreciation brings out better service, finer work from the individual who gets it. Tempered with judicious criticism, it is the most educative factor in daily life. The wife who knows how to appreciate the good qualities can afford gently to criticize and point out where there is room for improvement.

But appreciation requires verbal expression in most instances. The majority of husbands know very well that their wives are unselfish and thoughtful on their behalf. Most wives realize that the average husband is a good-hearted, hard-working individual, anxious to do his best for his wife and their family.

Married Happiness

The woman who wishes to be happy must never allow selfish, depressing thoughts to absorb her. She must cultivate the power of appreciating the good qualities of other people and especially of her nearest and dearest. Petty criticism and resentment of qualities she dislikes brings out not the best but the worst in the husband. In this world we get what we give. If we give kindness and appreciation to others, they somehow come back to us. Particularly, this is also true in married life.

The wise women, the clever women especially, if they have a sense of humor, make the best of their husbands and their marriage. They realize that a little disillusionment comes to every one of us, and that very often it is due to some fault in ourselves. Too many women let themselves drift into a morass of discontent and disappointment simply because they do not appreciate the great amount of good that is in their lives and turn it to account.

Every woman can be happy if she likes, especially if she has a husband and child to work and think for. Happiness, like all the other good things of this life, has to be cultivated and earned. Mutual appreciation is an important factor, and if husbands also would realize what an enormous difference to the happiness of the wife appreciation and small attentions make, a condition of affairs somewhat approaching the ideal would result.

After the first mysterious glamor has worn off, marriage must inevitably descend from the realms of glorified idealism to those of prosaic common-sense; it is merely a change of state. That change of state, however, for always may remain ideal, as ideal as it was when first contracted, but it will not do so if left unaided.

Mankind is frail and mortal, fretful and petty, and these, his characteristic traits, are the bitterest foes of married happiness. But the gift of mutual appreciation is a force - perhaps it is the only force - strong enough to grapple with and overcome these enemies.

Acknowledgment: Chest of Books Dot Com - Thanks to this Post! =)

Mai: Yes, daddy! I know you perfectly love me. But I still need to hear it sometimes. Let us talk about "us" - reminiscing happy and sweet moments, rekindling wedding vows. I love you.

Though I am so thankful that we're taking it one step at a time - thanks for that sweet date last Sunday. It's a good start, I should know. =)


♥♥♥ Mommy Mai ♥♥♥

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

JUST IN: A Must-Try Buffet For Only PhP 199 in Marilao, Bulacan

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Buffet PhP199.00/pax; PhP99.00/kid below 4ft.
(all-you-can-eat) ideal for family gatherings, birthday&anniversary celebrations, and also perfect for some random food trips of your barkada... Tara na, kulayan na ang drawing, bes!

Now, what makes your visit to Apolita Restaurant and Bar soooo SULIT?
➽Good food (Filipino Cuisine) (Kudos, chef and Miss Apol)
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➽Quality service (courteous and accommodating management and staff)
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Great music, nice entertainment 
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👌Kid-friendly (food choices, dessert bar)
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Accessible, just along NLEx Marilao exit
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Apolita's Buffet 199 is currently being offered every Saturday, 6-9 pm. For reservations, call/message them @ 0966-1363320 or 0943-4544211. Enjoy, folks! 

Note: This is not a sponsored post. We paid for our food. We were there yesterday, May 1. And I must say that my Mayo Uno, spent with my husband, our unico hijo, and a handful of BFFs, was a fun-filled, satisfying dining experience. :) Try it now! 

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Slimming Tricks: What You Need To Know And Understand

You know the drill when it comes to losing weight: take in fewer calories, burn more calories. But you also know that most diets and quick weight-loss plans don't work as promised. If you're trying to drop a few pounds fast, these trusted expert tips will make it easy for you to lose the weight quickly.

Diet Doctor identifies the following 18 weight loss tips and tricks:

Start at the top of the list (most important) and go down as far as you need. 

Choose a low-carb diet
Eat when hungry
Eat real food
Eat only when hungry
Measure your progress wisely
Be persistent
Avoid fruit
Avoid beer
Avoid artificial sweeteners
Review any medications
Stress less, sleep more
Eat less of dairy products and nuts
Supplement vitamins and minerals
Use intermittent fasting
Exercise wisely
Achieve optimal ketosis
Get your hormones checked
Stay healthy and fit at all cost

Remember to tweak your lifestyle.

It's a familiar story: You pledge to honor a daily elliptical routine and count every last calorie. But soon, you're eating cupcakes at the office and grabbing happy hour mojitos, thinking, Oops, diet over.

There is a better way: Swap the all-or-nothing approach for one or two healthy switch-ups in your daily routine. "Doing this can lead to more weight loss than you ever imagined," says Marissa Lippert, RD, author of The Cheater's Diet.